Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
