can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Congratulations! We have a period
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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