woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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