Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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