We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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