I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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