If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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