i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
