end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
