omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
