I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
