i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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