you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
