he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
