Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize