I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
