whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
