He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I just sharted jello shots
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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