Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
