Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Randomize
