the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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