Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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