It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize