its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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