you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
