its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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