I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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