Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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