I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
