then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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