I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Randomize
