Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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