Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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