I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
