She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i love accidental penises.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
