of course. lets lasso hookers.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
