I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
