I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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