Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
