Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
