Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
