i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
