sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
