Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
