she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i think my cat just said my name.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize