She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
