Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
