it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
