i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
