wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
