Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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