I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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