I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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