put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
