You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
