They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
