Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
