When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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