Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
