Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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