He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
