We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
