What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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