it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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