i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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