Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
