who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
