I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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